15 Nov Proper Attitudes Towards Parents.Part2
The following verse, just like the fourteenth verse of Sura Luqman, states that the weaning period for a child is two years and refers to the pregnancy and nursing of a child as consisting of thirty months:
Now (among the good deeds) We have enjoined on human is the best treatment towards his parents. His mother bore him in pain, and in pain did she give him birth. The bearing of him and suckling of him (until weaned) is thirty months…. (Ahqaf 46:15)
The verses we have examined so far emphasize the difficulty that mothers undergo in pregnancy, birth, and nursing as the basic reason for the order to treat one’s parents well. If we make some effort to understand more deeply, there are more important insights to be gained. We can see that the verse at hand begins with the same command that is found in the fourteenth verse of Sura Luqman; however, it then continues along quite different guidelines. This difference, as I will attempt to explain, takes the form of a prayer, which includes four parts:
When he has reached full manhood and forty years of age, he says, ‘My Lord! Arouse me so that I may be thankful for all Your favors (life, health, sustenance, faith, submission, and more) which You have bestowed on me and on my parents, and so that I may do good, righteous deeds with which You will be pleased, and grant me righteous offspring (so that they treat me righteously, as I treat my parents). I have turned to You, and I am one of those who have submitted to You.’ (Ahqaf 46:15)
Adults can use this prayer to ask for God’s mercy and blessings, for a closer bond with God, and a peaceful and balanced social life. Ibn Abbas said he heard the Prophet say,
“Whoever looks at his mother or father with mercy, God grants him the reward (for that gaze which will be the same) for a valid hajj.”
In connection with not upsetting or disobeying one’s father, Ibn Abbas reported that the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
“When a father looks at his child and the child makes the father happy, the child is given as much reward as if he or she has freed a slave.”
Abu’d Darda heard the Prophet say,
“The father is a major door into Heaven. A person can choose to abandon this door or choose to protect it (keep it open).”
Another important hadith on the topic of pleasing fathers is conveyed by ‘Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-As:
“The Prophet said, ‘The pleasure of God lies in pleasing one’s father and God’s displeasure lies in the father’s displeasure.’”
Adult children can still gain blessings in the name of their parents after they have passed on, according to God’s word. A hadith explains this:
Abu Usayd Malik ibn Rabi’a al-Saidi recounts that a man asked the Prophet,
“O Messenger of God, after my mother and father are gone, is it still possible for me to do good for them? What can I do for them?” The Messenger replied, “Yes, you can.” He went on to advise us to:
- Pray for them, ask God to forgive them,
- Carry out their last will and testament,
- Remember to visit our parents’ relatives,
- Send gifts to our parents’ friends.
God’s Messenger also warned those who did not visit their parents or care for them while they are still alive.
Abu Hurayra related the following hadith of the Prophet:
“Woe to him, woe to him, woe to him!” said the Prophet. When they asked, “Woe to whom?” he gave this explanation: “Woe to the one who has one or both of his parents grow old with him, and (still) cannot make it to heaven.”
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